1As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. 2Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. 3Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. 4There is one body and one Spirit—just as you were called to one hope when you were called— 5one Lord, one faith, one baptism; 6one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all.

7But to each one of us grace has been given as Christ apportioned it. 8This is why it says: "When he ascended on high, he led captives in his train and gave gifts to men." 9(What does "he ascended" mean except that he also descended to the lower, earthly regions? 10He who descended is the very one who ascended higher than all the heavens, in order to fill the whole universe.) 

11It was he who gave some to be apostles, some to be prophets, some to be evangelists, and some to be pastors and teachers, 12to prepare God's people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up 13until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ.

14Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of men in their deceitful scheming. 15Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ. 16From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work.

Ephesians 4:1-16 Live a Life Worthy of the Calling You Have Received 

vs. 1-6  One body, one Spirit, one hope…

·         1: Chapter 4 is where the letter to the Ephesians switches gears.  The first three chapters emphasized doctrine; the last three emphasize life application.  Truth about God must always lead to a change in life.  In the same way, real change in life must always be based on truth about God.   

·         1: What do you think it means to “live a live worthy of the calling you have received?”  [We are not saved by living a good life, but we need to start living a good life to honor the gift we have been given and the God who gives it.  An unchanged life simply doesn’t “fit” with the calling we have been given: to be God’s adopted children, holy and blameless in His sight (1:4-5).] 

·         2: Verse 2 lists several of the characteristics that should be true of the way we live our lives as Christians.  Identify them as discuss them.  [Humility, patience, gentleness, and bearing with each other in love.] 

·         3-6: What do these verses say about the importance of seeking unity as Christians?  What should be our attitude about Christian unity?  [We are to be eager to do this, considering it very important.]  What is Christian unity?  [I think that we often have the wrong idea about Christian unity.  We seem to think that unity is something Christian don’t have that we need to create by ecumenical prayer meetings and things like that.  But notice, Paul says that the Spirit is the one who has created this unity.  We are called to keep or maintain it.  All genuine Christians are united by the Holy Spirit into the body of Christ the moment they are born again (1 Cor. 12:13 & 27).  Therefore, this unity is not something that we can actually create or destroy, but it is something that we can either choose to maintain, or fight against.  Imagine a group of people bound together by a huge unbreakable rubber band.  You can either try to stretch the rubber band until it breaks, trying to get away from everyone else, or you can embrace the fact that you are united to these other people and live in harmony with them.  Before His crucifixion, in John 17:20-23, Jesus prayed that His followers would be one.  Contrary to popular belief, I think that the Father granted Jesus’ prayer.  In Acts 2 the Holy Spirit started His new work of immersing people into the body of Christ.  Because of that, we have unity, like it or not.  This is not unity with anyone who claims to be a Christian, but it is true unity with everyone who actually is born again.  When we needlessly fight as fellow Christians, or when Christians turn from the truth that is supposed to unite us, we “stretch” that bond of unity, and grieve God, but we do not break the body of Christ.  As I have heard Erwin Lutzer say, “If we are united in the gospel, then that which unites us is greater than anything that could divide us. However, if we are divided on the gospel, then that which divides us is greater than whatever could unite us.”] 

·         3-6: Paul lists several of the things that all genuine Christians have in common.  If you are a real Christian, these are the same for you as they are for every other real Christian.  Our unity is based on having these in common.  What are they?

o        One body: All genuine Christians are immersed into the body of Christ the moment they are born again.

o        One Spirit: We are all placed in the body of Christ by the same Holy Spirit.

o        One hope: We all look forward, with certainty, to the glory of God in Jesus Christ (Rm. 5:2)

o        One Lord: This is a reference to Jesus Christ.  There is only one Jesus.

o        One faith: We do not trust in different things, but instead we all trust in the same Savior and believe His Word.

o        One baptism: The word baptism literally means “immersion.”  All genuine Christians are immersed/baptism by the Holy Spirit into the body of Christ at the moment of saving faith.  (I believe that this verse is about Spirit baptism, not water baptism.  Water baptism is symbolic of Spirit baptism.  One you can see, one you can’t.)

o        One God and Father of us all: God the Father.   

·         5: Verse 5 says that there is one baptism.  This is one of the reasons why I disagree with those who teach that there is a (second) baptism of the Holy Spirit which is “distinct and subsequent” to the new birth that happens to some believers.  This is the official teaching of Pentecostal denominations such as the Assemblies of God.  Their official teaching is also that speaking in tongues is the “initial physical evidence” of this baptism.  I love my Pentecostal brothers and sisters, but I think they are wrong about this. 

vs. 7-13  Diverse gifts for united ministry

·         7-13: Paul’s main point in this next section is to tell us that we been given diverse gifts for united ministry, leading to united Christian maturity.  Although we have different gifts, given to us freely by God’s grace, we are to use them for the sake of Christian unity.    

·         8-10: In verse 8 Paul cites Psalm 68:18 which mentions God ascending and gifts being given.  Verses 9 and 10 are somewhat of a side note as Paul explains this before getting back to his main point, and that is why the NIV editors chose to put verses 9 and 10 in parentheses.  The word picture is of a victorious king returning from victory in a great procession, with gifts being bestowed.  In the same way, Jesus first descended (went down) and then He ascended (went up).  This could simply be a reference to the fact that He came down to earth and then returned to Heaven.  However, it could also be a reference to Jesus descending to Hades after His crucifixion.  It is important to realize that Jesus did not “burn in hell” after His crucifixion.  When He died, He said, “It is finished” (John 19:30).  He also said to the repentant thief next to Him, “Today you will be with me in paradise” (Luke 23:43).  Also, we must remember that the “Apostles Creed” is not actually a part of the Bible, was not written by the apostles, and that the phrase “descended into hell” was added to the Apostles Creed in eighth century.  However, although Jesus did not suffer in hell after His crucifixion, the Bible does seem to teach that He made a visit to the underworld to proclaim His victory (1 Peter 3:19) and to lead the Old Testament believers from Hades to Heaven.  It seems that Old Testament believers did not immediately go to heaven when they died.  In Luke 16:19-31 Jesus tells the story of the Rich Man and Lazarus who both die.  Lazarus goes to “Abraham’s side” and the unbelieving rich man goes to Hades (translated as “hell” in the NIV) where he is in torment.  They are able to see and speak to each other, but there is an uncrossable “great chasm” fixed between them.  It seems that prior to the cross, everyone went to “Hades” when they died.  However, there was a good portion referred to as “Abraham’s side” for the Old Testament believers, and there was also the bad portion of Hades where the unforgiven were tormented.  Old Testament saints were saved the same way we are, by grace through faith, but it was faith in God and the coming Messiah that the sacrifices symbolized and pointed ahead to.  However, they were saved “on credit” so to speak, because the price had not yet actually been paid.  Therefore, they were comforted in the afterlife, but they were not in Heaven with God yet.  In a sense, they were saved “on layaway.”  However, we know that when believers die today, they immediately go to be with Jesus Christ in Heaven.  Paul taught that to be away from the body is to be at home with the Lord (2 Cor. 5:6-8).  So, what I think happened is that when Christ died on the cross, He descended to Hades and proclaimed His victory.  He then led the Old Testament believers from Hades to Heaven where they are now.  (Note: We use the English word “hell” for several distinct places, including Hades and the Lake of Fire.  Revelation 20:14 tells us that after the Great White Throne Judgment the unbelievers in Hades will be emptied into a place called the Lake of Fire, which will be their final destination.) 

·         11: Paul mentions apostles, prophets, evangelists and pastors-(and)-teachers.  We have already discussed apostles and prophets in reference to Ephesians 2:20.  Evangelists are those who are gifted to take the gospel message to others.   “Evangel” is from the Greek word for “gospel.”  Both of these literally mean “good news.”  Thus, an evangelist by definition is someone who tells people the good news of salvation through Jesus Christ.  (In 1 Cor. 15:1-5 Paul defines the Gospel as “Christ died for our sins.”)  Paul also mentions pastors and teachers.  Because of the way that this is written in Greek many commentators say that these gifts are merged here as one.  Pastor literally means “shepherd.”  A teacher is one who communicates and explains God’s already-revealed truth.   

·         12: What is the reason why God gave apostles, prophets, evangelists, and pastor-teachers?  [He gave them to prepare or equip God’s people for works of service.  All of God’s people are to do works of service.  However, these four gifts have to do with the communication of God’s Truth, the Scriptures.  In 2 Timothy 3:16-17 Paul writes that “All Scripture God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.”  Equipping comes through the Word of God.  This also means that the Word of God isn’t just for our head or hearts, but for our hands in works of service to others.] 

·         13: The goal of all of this is unity in our faith (faith also can mean beliefs), and maturity. 

vs. 14-16  No longer infants

·         14: With maturity (verse 13) we will no longer be infants.  Having grown in our beliefs, we will no longer be blown back and forth by whatever the latest person teaches.  Instead, we will have our beliefs anchored on the unchanging truth of God’s Word.   

·         14: Before this maturity, and especially before the apostles and prophets completed the New Testament, it was easy for believers to be led astray by false teachers.  Unfortunately, even with the completed Scriptures, this still happens to people today when they do not cling to the Bible for their beliefs.  How does verse 14 describe false teaching?  [It comes from men using “cunning” and “craftiness.”  They are slick and tricky.  These people use lies and are “deceitful” and push their agendas with “scheming.”  You need to be anchored in God’s truth to stand firm against this.] 

·         15: Verse 15 starts with the word “instead.”  This means that it is the opposite of verse 14.  Paul says that we need to speak the truth in love.  Talk about the importance of speaking the truth.  (God’s truth.)  Also, talk about the importance of speaking it in love. 

·         15-16: Speaking God’s truth in love causes us to continue to grow in Christian maturity with Christ as our head.  We are connected together in the body of Christ, and Christ is the head. 

17So I tell you this, and insist on it in the Lord, that you must no longer live as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their thinking. 18They are darkened in their understanding and separated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them due to the hardening of their hearts. 19Having lost all sensitivity, they have given themselves over to sensuality so as to indulge in every kind of impurity, with a continual lust for more.

20You, however, did not come to know Christ that way. 21Surely you heard of him and were taught in him in accordance with the truth that is in Jesus. 22You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; 23to be made new in the attitude of your minds; 24and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.

25Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor, for we are all members of one body. 26"In your anger do not sin": Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, 27and do not give the devil a foothold. 28He who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work, doing something useful with his own hands, that he may have something to share with those in need.

29Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. 30And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 31Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. 32Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

Ephesians 4:17-32 Putting off the Old Self and Putting on the New

vs. 17-19  You must no longer live as the Gentiles do

·         1: Notice that this is a command, not a mere suggestion.  Paul is strongly telling Christians that we need to change the way that we live once we are saved.  We are no longer to live as the rest of the Gentiles do.  What does that mean?  [Most of the Gentiles did not know Christ as their Savior and lived lives full of blatant sins and immorality.  They live their lives in the moral sewer.  If Paul was writing this today he might say, “Stop living like you’re a low life guest on the Jerry Springer show!”] 

·         17: List the descriptions of the non-Christians Gentiles from these verses and discuss what they mean.

o        17: Their thinking is futile.  This means that their thinking doesn’t work right and doesn’t lead to good results.

o        18: They are darkened in their understanding.  This means that the way they perceive reality is clouded by their sin. 

o        18: They are separated from the life of God.  They are not connected to the type of life that comes when someone is in a living relationship to God. 

o        18: The reason for these pervious things is that these people are ignorant.  Ignorance means that there are things that they do not know. 

o        18: The reason for their ignorance is that their hearts are hard.  They are ignorant of important truth, but this is something that is their fault.  Their hearts are hard and unresponsive and they refuse to receive the truth that comes their way.  That is why they are ignorant.  

o        19: They have lost sensitivity.  They do not feel what they are supposed to feel.  When we hurt ourselves physically we are supposed to feel pain.  Pain helps people avoid things that hurt them physically.  In the same way feelings of guilt tell us that we are going something that hurts ourselves spiritually or morally.  However, these people have become insensitive to guilt feelings.  They sin without feeling bad about it at all, which is a terrible situation.   

·         19: Can you think of any examples today that show how society has lost its sensitivity to sin?  [Content on TV during family viewing hours that would have been considered R rated years ago; acceptance of abortion, common acceptance of other sins, etc.]  

vs. 20-24  Put on the new self

·         20-21: The truth about coming to Christ is that we need to get out of the sewer once we are saved.   

·         22-24: It is important to notice that there are two aspects to spiritual growth here.  There are things that we are to take off and there are things that we are supposed to put on.  What kinds of things are we supposed to take off?  [We take of sinful things by ceasing to do them.  We need to stop doing things like lying and stealing.]  What kinds of things are we supposed to put on? [We are to put on Christian virtues.  Examples include speaking the truth and working to help others.]  We need to do both of these!  We need to take off bad actions and qualities and replace them with Christ-like actions and qualities.  God wants us to be more Christ-like than a chair!  A chair doesn’t sin, but it doesn’t do anything morally good either.  Why else is this important?  [Christians that just focus on what not to do become legalistic, cold and unloving.  On the other hand, Christians who only focus on adding virtues without dealing with sin are not living the life of holiness that God calls us to.  To put it another way, if you only take off sin without putting on the new life, you are a spiritual nudist.  If you put on new virtues without taking off old sins, it is like putting a nice new expensive outfit on over muddy clothes.]  In the following sections Paul will give examples of things we are supposed to put off and put on. 

vs. 25-28  Lying, anger, and stealing

·         25: What are we Christians supposed to take off and put on in this verse?  Why?  [We are to stop lying and instead to speak truthfully.  God is a God of truth.  Christians are all members of the body of Christ and it is wrong and hurtful to deceive each other.] 

·         26: What does this verse say about anger?  [We are not supposed to sin in our anger.  The first important thing to notice is that all anger is not necessarily sin.  There is something called “righteous anger” which is when we are angry about the things that are supposed to anger us, such as injustice or the abuse or murder of the helpless.  The Bible also says that God Himself becomes angry, so it is not necessarily a wrong emotion.  However, anger is sin if we are angry about the wrong things.  For example, most of our anger is based on selfishness, so that is automatically sinful.  But in addition, even righteous anger can lead to sin if you don’t handle it in the right way.  It is one thing to be upset with someone; it is another thing to blow up their car.] 

·         26-27: What does it mean not to let the sun go down while you are angry?  Does this mean that it is okay to say angry longer if you get angry in the morning rather than right before sunset?  What does this have to do with giving the Devil a foothold?  [The main point is to deal with your anger and not to let it fester.  Deal with it before much time passes rather than letting the deep feelings of anger grow from day to day.  When we let these feelings fester, it gives the Devil leverage for other sin and fighting.] 

·         28: What are we supposed to take off and put on in verse 28?  [Christians need to stop stealing, and instead to work so that they have something to help others with.]  How are these two things opposites?  What does this say about God’s view of work?  [When someone steals, they hurt someone else by taking away something valuable from them.  This makes their life more difficult.  On the other hand, when we work we earn resources, not just for ourselves, but so that we can use them to help other people.  We don’t just work to work, but so that we can help take care of others in their need.  God views honest work is something very positive.]  

vs. 29-32  How we treat each other

·         29: Verse 29 is about a huge are of our lives.  How do we treat each other with the words that come out of our mouths?  Does God care about this?  What are examples of unwholesome or corrupt talk that hurts others?  [Put downs, slams, snide comments, slander, gossip, selfish comments, false flattery, etc.]  Instead, how does God want us to use our mouths?  How do we use them to build up others?   Does this just mean “saying nice things” or do you think it goes beyond that? 

·         30: When we sin, we grieve the Holy Spirit.  What does it mean to be grieved?  [This means that sin causes God to feel inwardly sorrowful.  God is not untouched by what He sees in our lives. Do you really want to grieve the God who did so much to save you?]  This verse gives evidence that the Holy Spirit is a person rather than just a impersonal “force.”  God is personal, having mind, emotions, and will.  Forces do not have emotions and cannot be grieved.  This verse also contradicts the older view that God does not have emotions.  Although He is never controlled by wrong emotions like we often are. 

·         31: List and briefly discuss the sins listed in this verse.  [Bitterness is when we let anger fester.  Rage is when anger leads to some sort of attack.  Anger is sin when it has the wrong motive or is expressed in a sinful way.  Brawling is fighting.  Slander is attacking someone with words.  Malice is wishing or planning evil against someone.] 

·         32: Rather than treating people with the things from verse 31, we should treat them with the things in verse 32.  What does it mean to be kind and compassionate?  Why should we forgive each other?  [We should forgive each other because Christ forgave us.  Christ treated us better than we deserve.  When we feel that another person has done wrong to us, our old sinful response is to react with bitterness, rage, or one of the other things above.  But when we remember how much Christ forgave us, even though we did not deserve it, it frees us up to treat them with genuine kindness and compassion instead of holding that hurt against them.] 

1Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children 2and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.

3But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God's holy people. 4Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving. 5For of this you can be sure: No immoral, impure or greedy person—such a man is an idolater—has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God. 6Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of such things God's wrath comes on those who are disobedient. 7Therefore do not be partners with them.

8For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light 9(for the fruit of the light consists in all goodness, righteousness and truth) 10and find out what pleases the Lord. 11Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them. 12For it is shameful even to mention what the disobedient do in secret. 13But everything exposed by the light becomes visible, 14for it is light that makes everything visible. This is why it is said: "Wake up, O sleeper, rise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you."

15Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, 16making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. 17Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord's will is. 18Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit. 19Speak to one another with psalms, hymns and spiritual songs. Sing and make music in your heart to the Lord, 20always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.  21Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

Ephesians 5:1-21 Living as Children of Light

vs. 1-7  Be Imitators of God

·         1-2: Jesus didn’t live one way and then tell us to live a different way.  Christian living means following Jesus’ example.  He loved us enough to die for us.  In the same way we should live lives of love for others. 

·         3:  Paul is making a strong statement here!  How much sexual immorality should we allow in our lives?  [Not even a hint]  What does that mean?  What are some of the many ways that this verse needs to be applied today?  What are some of the hardest ways to live out this verse?  What is wrong with just a “hint” of sexual immorality?  (There is plenty of opportunity for discussion here!) 

·         4: What is out of place for God’s people according to verse 4?  Why?  What are examples of these things?  [These things would cover everything from cuss words, to dirty jokes, to vulgar humor, to crude or sexually suggestive talk.  Remember, God wants us to become more like Christ.  Even if you think it is funny, is it something Jesus would say?] 

·         5-7: We need to remember that God’s wrath is coming upon the world because of these sins.  If you are a Christian, yes it is true that God forgives you freely because of what Christ did for you.  However, God’s grace does not mean that He does not care about sin!  Jesus had to die a bloody death because of these sins, so they are not something that we should keep doing.    

vs. 8-14  From darkness to light

·         8-9: Talk about the change that Paul is describing here.  [Before being saved, we were all in darkness, but now we are in the light of God.  Since we are now in the light, we must not go on living as if we were still in the darkness of godlessness and sin.]   

·         10: How do you find out what pleases the Lord?  [We learn His moral will from the Bible, not the culture or our personal feelings.]   

·         11-14: Paul tells us to have nothing to do with deeds or darkness.  He also tells us to expose them.  This puts us in a dilemma.  On one hand, we remember that Jesus Himself was a friend to sinners and even would attend some of their parties and gatherings.  We know that it would be wrong to put ourselves in a Christian bubble, because then we would have no influence on the people in the world around us.  But on the other hand, we know that it is easy to be corrupted by the world around us.  We also know that there are a lot of events and activities that we simply should not participate in because it would be a bad idea for our own spiritual lives, and because it would make it seem that we are approving of something sinful.  It takes a lot of wisdom to find the balance.  How do you think you find the balance?  [The bottom line is that we need to be “in the world but not of it.”  As D.L. Moody explained, a ship is supposed to be in the ocean, but the ocean is not supposed to be in the ship!]  

·         A few years ago I posted an article titled No Fellowship With Darkness. The article contained a passage from Dr. Martin Lloyd-Jones that I thought was very helpful.  Here is a portion of that:

“How do you reconcile these statements,” asks someone.  I do it like this.  We are to maintain contact with sinners in exactly the same way as our blessed Lord and Saviour did.  He was called ‘the friend of publicans and sinners.’  He sat with them, He ate and drank with them; they drew near to Him and He did not refuse them, He did not reject them; He mixed with them, He spoke to them; yes, but He did it in such a way that He had no fellowship whatsoever with the unfruitful works of darkness.  I other words, as our Lord sat there and mixed with the publicans and sinners, they did not indulge in evil and foul and suggestive talk; they did not do that in His presence, there was something about Him that prohibited that.  And the Apostle is telling us that, while we maintain our contacts with non-Christians for the good of their souls and for their salvation, we do not have any fellowship in their outlook, or in their talk.  Most of them recognize our position and our profession of the name of the Lord.  We can discuss other matters with them, but if they tend to bring in ugly and unclean things we are to show our disapproval, we are to show that we have no fellowship with them, we do not enjoy such things anymore.  This is a very difficult line to draw, but I think we will always know when the time comes to do that.  We can have fellowship with them without enjoying the things they are doing.  Let us maintain contact with them, and our hold upon them, for their good and for their benefit, but let us have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness in any shape or form.  We must make it plain and clear to them that though we are interested in them as persons and human beings, and though we may share common interests with them, we have no interest whatsoever in that which is sinful and harmful in their lives.  

vs. 15-21  Be filled with the Spirit

·         15: What is the actual command in this verse?  [We are to pay attention to how we are living!  Too often we fall into sin because we aren’t even paying attention.  If you don’t pay attention when you are literally walking, you might fall into a literal hole.  If you don’t pay attention to how you are walking with God, you will fall into a hole of sin.] 

·         16: We only have so much time in this world, and the clock keeps ticking.  How are you going to redeem your time?  The hands on the clock don’t wait for you.  Unless you choose to live for God, you waste the time. 

·         17: This verse is basically saying the same thing as verse 10.  God’s moral will is that which pleases the Lord.  This verse isn’t talking about finding out God’s secret sovereign plan.  (That would be God’s sovereign will, not His moral will.)  This verse means that it is wise to find out what pleases God and it is very foolish to ignore doing that. 

·         18: What are Christians commanded not to do in this verse?  [We are not to get drunk on alcohol.  The Bible does not absolutely forbid all consumption of alcohol, but it does say that it is always sin to get drunk.  It is also sinful to drink if it is illegal for you to drink (Romans 13:1) or if it would cause someone else to fall into sin (1 Cor. 8:9).  This verse would also prohibit drug abuse.] 

·         18: What is the flip side to verse 18?  Instead of being filled with wine, what are Christians to be filled with?  What does that mean?  [Instead of being filled with alcohol, we are to be filled with the Holy Spirit.  When you are filled with wine, you are controlled by the wine.  You are “under the influence” of alcohol.  Instead, we are to be under the influence of the Holy Spirit and controlled by Him.  Remember, the Holy Spirit is a person, not a liquid, so being “filled” with the Holy Spirit really means to be controlled by Him.  Unlike alcohol, being influenced by the Holy Spirit does not mean we lose control.  Instead, we never have more self-control or think more clearly than when our lives are influenced by the Spirit. The filling of the Holy Spirit is not the same thing as being indwelt by the Holy Spirit.  All Christians are indwelt by the Spirit at the moment of salvation.  However, the filling of the Spirit is a command that we are told to do.  We are never commanded to “be indwelt by the Spirit” but we are commanded to be “filled with the Spirit.”  Genuine Christians always have the Spirit inside them, but don’t always let Him have the steering wheel of our lives.  Again, to be filled means to be influence and controlled by the Spirit rather than filled, influenced, and controlled by wine.  The indwelling of the Spirit is a once-for-all event.  The filling of the Spirit is something that is not permanent and must be repeated whenever we realize that we are not walking with God.] 

·         19-21: What are some of the things that happen as we are filled with the Spirit?  [1. We speak to each other with psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs.  Positive God-honoring joy is on our lips, praising God and encouraging others.  2. We are filled with gratitude to God and give thanks to Him for everything.  3. Also, we submit to those whom we are called to submit to out of our respect and submission to Christ.] 

·         21: Contrary to what is sometimes taught today, this verse does not mean that all Christians submit to all other Christians in the exact same way.  In the next section, Ephesians 5:22-6:9, Paul will describe three different relationships that people have.  In each of these relationships there is one of the members who is called to have loving authority, and another member who is called to respect and follow that authority.  These three relationships are wives and husbands, children and parents, and servants and masters.  Verse 21 is not meant to eliminate these relationships.  For example, it is absurd to think that verse 21 means that parents are to submit to their children in the same way that children are to submit to their parents.  We all have a mutual obligation to each other, but this passage does not teach mutual submission in the way that some people interpret that phrase.  In Greek, the phrase “one another” does not necessarily mean that this submitting always goes both ways.  It might be better to translate it as “submit one to another.”  The same Greek word for “one another” is used in Revelation 6:4 talking about men slaying one another.  Obviously this doesn’t mean that every person is killing the same person who is killing him.  It means that there is a big web of killing going on.   In the same way, God calls us all to submit to various others such as the government (Rm. 13), the elders of the church (Heb. 13:17), wives to husbands (Eph. 5:22), children to parents (Eph. 6:1) and servants to masters (Eph. 6:5).  We all have people in authority over us whose leadership we need to follow.  If we are walking in the Spirit, we will be empowered to do that joyfully.  That is what this verse means.  (Obviously, there will be more on this topic in the weeks to come.)

22Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

25Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church— 30for we are members of his body. 31"For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh." 32This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

Ephesians 5:22-33 Wives and Husbands

Introduction 

This section might be controversial to some people because it goes against the cultural beliefs of our day.  Even many Christians feel that they need to reinterpret Paul in these verses in order to make him seem fair.  Often times it seems that we are told to choose between two options: no gender differences between men and women, or male domination.  Obviously male domination is wrong, so if these are the only two options, then there must be no differences between men and women.  If you don’t completely agree with that, then you obviously believe in male domination.   

The problem with this is that it is a false choice.  The Bible presents a third option that is neither male dominance nor a complete lack of gender differences.  God is calling husbands to lead their families, but not to lead as a tyrant but instead to lead in a loving and sacrificing way just a Christ loved the church.  As you study these verses, I challenge you to consider that God is giving us a third way—the best way.     

These three ways can be illustrated by the phrase that the men cried as the Titanic was sinking.  When the Titanic was going down, the cry was, “Women and children first!”  Then men gave up their spots in the lifeboats in order to save the women and the children.  They sacrificed and died so that women and children could live.  However, times have changed in the last century.  Recently, a women’s magazine conducted a pole asking what should happen if the Titanic sank today.  The response of the women was that there should be half men and half women for equality.   I don’t think that mindset it Biblical.  The Bible calls husbands to be leaders, but not the kind that say “men first!” or “me first!”  God calls men to be the kind of leaders who will sacrifice their lives just as Jesus Christ did. 

vs. 22-24  Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord

·         22: What is the command here for wives?  What does it mean?  [Wives are told to submit the leadership of their own husbands.  The word for “submit” was a military term meaning “to rank under.”  In a manner of speaking, it means that in the family the husband is the General and the wife is the Colonel.  In some ways, the General/Colonel illustration is helpful because a Colonel is not a helpless unthinking doormat for the General, even though the Colonel will follow the General’s leadership.  A good General will empower a Colonel to use her intelligence and gifts to her full ability.  As you will see when you read God’s command to husbands in Ephesians 5:25-33, God is in no way giving husbands permission to be tyrants over their families!  God commands husbands to love their wives and sacrifice for them just as Christ loved the church and sacrificed Himself for us!] 

·         Does submission mean that women are inferior to men?  [No!  Men and women are absolutely equal in dignity and worth!  Men and women are both created in the image of God.  (Genesis 1:27)  Men and women have different roles, but are equal in dignity and worth.  I believe that it is a lie of our culture to believe that a person’s worth comes from the role they are asked to fulfill.  If submission means inferiority as a person, then Jesus would be inferior to God the Father!  God the Father and Jesus Christ are both God and are completely equal in dignity and worth, yet the Son willingly submits to the Father!  See the examples in the box at the end of these notes.  If the members of the Trinity don’t find submission to be “demeaning” then you don’t have to either!] 

·         John Piper defines submission as the divine calling of a wife to honor and affirm her husband’s leadership and help carry it through according to her gifts.  What do you find helpful from this definition?  Discuss practical ways that you think God might call upon you to follow this command. 

·         23-24: Verse 23 starts with the word “for” which means “because.”  This means that verses 23 is giving a reason for the command to submit.  What is the reason that Paul gives and what does it mean?  [Paul says that wives are to submit to their husbands because the husband is the head of the home.  This means that the husband has leadership authority.  However, egalitarians (Christian feminists) counter this claim and say that the Greek word for head (kephale) actually means “source” and does not carry the idea of authority.  For example, one egalitarian claims, “The word head used figuratively in the English language refers to boss, person in authority, leader.  It never has that meaning in the New Testament Greek” (Gilbert Bilezikian, Beyond Sex Roles, 190).  This claim is hard to believe when you remember what Paul wrote in Ephesians 1:20-23 where Christ is pictured as being on God’s throne at the right hand of God far above all rule and authority, with God having placed all things under His feet and appointing Jesus as head over everything.  This same egalitarian author also admits that the Hebrew word for head meant authority (105).  Even more, Bible scholar Wayne Grudem has examined 2,336 examples of head in ancient Greek and his documented results show that in ALL ancient Greek literature (in the Bible and outside the Bible) whenever one person was said to be the head of another person, the head was ALWAYS the person in authority.  (Examples: The head of an army; the head of a tribe.)  His results have stood for two decades, and no one has produced an example from ancient Greek of one person being the head of another person where the head was not the person in authority.  (Evangelical Feminism and Biblical Truth, p. 201-211.  www.EFBT100.com).  The egalitarian claim that the Greek word for head means “source without authority” is simply false.  In addition, the logic of Ephesians 5:22-24 wouldn’t even make sense if head had nothing to do with leadership or authority.  Remember, Paul is telling wives to submit to their husbands because the husband is the head of the wife.   Even if you don’t like the idea, it takes a lot of Biblical gymnastics to try to avoid the conclusion that God is giving husbands a special responsibility for leading their families.]  In the next section, we will see what kind of “head” God wants husbands to be for their homes. 

·         What does our culture teach about concepts like submission and gender roles?  What things might make the Bible’s teachings in these verses difficult for many people to accept?  [This passage may be very difficult, especially for women who have not experienced a father or husband who was a loving, sacrificing, and Christ-like leader.  There is also a growing tendency in our culture to be allergic to all authority.  Yes, authority can often be misused and abused, but that does not mean that it is always bad.  Christ is an example of good authority.] 

·         If you are a girl who is not yet married, how will this passage help you look for the right kind of man to marry?  If you are a guy who is not yet married, how will this passage help you see the kind of man God wants you to become?  [Girls, marry a guy who will be a loving Christ-like leader for you and your family!  This is the most important thing that you will want in a guy.  This is more important than good looks, sense of humor, popularity, or any of the other things that girls usually look for today.  Look for a guy who is godly and who you would be willing to gladly follow his leadership!  Guys, work to become this type of a man!] 

vs. 25-33  Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church

·         25: Wives are called to submit to their husbands.  What are husbands called to do?  What does that mean?  Which do you think is harder, God’s command to wives or His command to husbands?  [Husbands are commanded to love their wives just as Christ loved the church.   Think about how Jesus Christ loved the church!  He loved the church enough to die on the cross for it!  As hard as it might be for wives to submit to their husband, the command to husbands is much harder!  In fact, husbands are called to do something so high that there is no way we can live up to the standard, although we are commanded to try!]  What are some of the practical ways that a husband must do this? 

·         John Piper defines headship as the divine calling of a husband to take primary responsibility for Christ-like servant leadership, protection, and provision in the home.  What do you find helpful from this definition?  Discuss practical ways that you think God might call upon you to follow this command.  Don’t think of headship as a privilege.  Think of it as a responsibility.  It is a responsibility that God will hold you accountable for. 

·         26-27: In these verses, what did Christ do for the church?  In the same way, what does God want husbands to do for their wives?  [Christ cleansed to church to make the church holy.  In the same way, husbands need to be committed to the spiritual well being of their wives and families.  Be a spiritual leader for your family.  Take the initiative to make sure your family is attending church.  Use the Word of God to teach and instruct your family.  Start growing now so that God will make you into a spiritual leader for your family.]  Guys, this is important!  Like it or not, dads have a key spiritual leadership role to influence their families, either for good or bad.  As David Murrow writes in Why Men Hate Going to Church, “Here is an oft-quoted statistic in men’s ministry circles: when a mother comes to faith in Christ, the rest of the family follows 17 percent of the time.  But when a father come to faith in Christ, the rest of the family follows 93 percent of the time.  I’ve seen it time and time again.  When a man encounters Christ, his family follows.”  Will you lead your family to follow Christ? 

·         28-31: The Bible says that when a man and a woman are married, they become one flesh.  How does this apply to how husbands ought to treat their wives?  [No one in their right mind abuses their own body!  You want to take care of your body.  In the same way, you need to love your wives just as you would take care of yourself.] 

·         25-31: Our culture is allergic to authority.  Some people can’t seem to imagine any type of God-honoring, loving, sacrificing, humble, Christ-like leadership.  To many, “authority” always means “authoritarian” or “domineering.”   Instead, let’s look at what kind of leadership God calls husbands to in these verses.  Because we are sinful, people have polluted the concepts of leadership, headship, and authority with sinful ideas.  It is like impure water.  But the answer isn’t to reject all water.  The answer is to filter the water of the impurities.  In the same way, when you think of the type of leadership that a husband is supposed to have, use Ephesians 5 as a filter to filter out any sinful qualities from your idea of leadership.  Study Ephesians 5:23-33 and look for what impurities we need to filter out of our idea of headship.  What kind of leader does God really want you to be for your family? 

FROM YOUR IDEA OF HEADSHIP, FILTER OUT ANYTHING FROM THAT ISN’T:

• Christ-like
• Loving.  Love as Christ loved the Church. (vs. 25)  Think about how high a calling this is!
• Sacrificing.  “And gave Himself up for her.”  (vs. 25) 
• Serving
• Sanctifying.  To make her pure and holy; to help her in her walk with God.  (vs. 26-27)
• Providing.  “Feeds and cares for it.” (vs. 29)
• Nurturing.  “Feeds and cares for it.” (vs. 29)
• Caring.  “Feeds and cares for it.” (vs. 28-29)

Also look at 1 Peter 3:7.  “Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.”

• Considerate.  “be considerate”
• Respectful.  “treat them with respect”
• Non-Diminishing.  “heirs with you of the gracious gift of life”

·         25-31: Girls, when you think about these qualities listed above, is this the kind of man you hope to marry?  Is it different to think about submission to this kind of man? 

·         32: What is the mystery (the formerly unrevealed truth) that Paul is letting us know in this verse?  [God designed marriage to be a spiritual illustration of the relationship between Christ and the church!  God had this in mind since the beginning!  When we look at the way that husbands and wives are supposed to interact, it is supposed to help us see the sacrificing love of Jesus Christ and the intelligent, joyful, willingness of the church to follow Christ’s leadership.  This should also give us more motivation to follow the commands in these verses; the glory of Christ is at stake!  When husbands don’t love their wives like Christ loved the church, we are dishonoring the glory of Christ to the watching world!] 

·         32: This verse is also a strong reason why Ephesians 5:21 does not teach “mutual submission” in the sense that husbands also need to submit to the authority of their wives the same way that wives as called to submit to their husbands.  If both of these roles were reversible, then the roles of Christ and the church would also be reversible!  We can’t reverse the roles and say “Husbands submit to your wives just as Christ submits to the authority of the Church.” 

·         33: This verse summarizes the key desires of wives and husbands that will be satisfied if we follow God’s instructions in this passage.  Wives desire love.  Husbands desire respect.  (For more on this, I recommend Rocking the Roles, by Robert Lewis.) 

For more on this topic, see Nate’s articles “Husbands and Wives, part 1 (husbands)” and “Husbands and Wives, part 2 (wives).”

1Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2"Honor your father and mother"—which is the first commandment with a promise— 3"that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth." 

4Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.

9And masters, treat your slaves in the same way. Do not threaten them, since you know that he who is both their Master and yours is in heaven, and there is no favoritism with him.

Ephesians 6:1-9 Children & Parents and Servants & Masters

vs. 1-4  Children and Parents

·         1: What is the command here for children?  [Obey your parents]  What does this mean? 

·         1-3: What reasons does Paul give for this command?  [It is right.  Notice, the Bible teaches that there are some things that are simply right, regardless of the consequences.  In addition, this command does have good consequences!  Although this command is the 5^th of the 10 commandments, it is the first commandment listed with a promise attached.  The original promise was given to the Hebrews, telling them that obedience to this commandment would help them to “live long in the land.”  God expected the parents to teach their children the commandments, and if the children obeyed the commandments, they wouldn’t be forced out of the Promised Land that were about to enter.  That was the original specific application, however there is a general application that still applies today.  Obeying our parents has a way of helping keep us alive!  Loving parents give commands because of what is best for their children, even if the children don’t like it.]    

·         Questions that usually get asked: Q. What if your parents command you to do something evil?  [A. You don’t have to obey your parents if they are commanding you to break God’s Law.  If they tell you to steal a car, you don’t have to.  However, this doesn’t happen much so don’t use this as an excuse.  Don’t tell your parents that you can’t take out the garbage because you have to read your Bible right then.]  Q. How long do I have to obey my parents?  [A. You need to respect and honor your parents your whole life.  However, you do not have to strictly obey them once you start your own household.  Contrary to what some people think, I do not think that you are allowed to blow off your parents’ authority on your 18^th birthday.  If you live under their roof, or if you are financially supported by them, you need to obey them.  However, I would hope that you have demonstrated enough responsibility by that time that they can give you a wide degree of freedom.] 

·         4: What are parents commanded not to do?  [Fathers are not to exasperate their children.  The ESV translates it as “do not provoke your children to anger”.]  Note: In verse 1, children are commanded to obey both parents, mother and father.  However, this command in verse 4 is addressed specifically to the dads.  This might be because the father is the head of the house and the one who will be held most accountable.  It might also be because fathers are more inclined to be harsh with their children. 

·         4: What does it mean to exasperate your children or to drive them to anger?  How does that happen?  Does that mean that parents can’t do anything that makes their children angry?  [I think we would all agree that parents aren’t in sin just because kids get mad.  If that were so, kids would be able to control their parents with the threat of being mad.  Paul had in mind other things that provoke their children.]  What are some of those?  What frustrates you?  What things will you need to avoid as a parent?  [Examples: Being harsh.  Being overly critical.  Not showing support.  (Josh McDowell says, “Rules without relationship equal rebellion.”)  Being inconsistent in the rules.  Moving the target.  Etc.] 

·         4: What are parents commanded to do in this verse?  [They are to bring them up in the training (discipline ESV) and instruction of the Lord.]  What does this mean?  When you become a parent, what will God expect you to do for your kids?  [Too many parents just want to be a friend to their kids.  They are afraid of their kids not liking them, and so they let themselves be controlled by their kids.  This isn’t love!  Loving your kids means doing what it best for them even when it makes you unpopular with them.  Parents are commanded to train or discipline their kids.  Discipline has two sides: positive and negative.  Like a coach, you will need to make your kids do things that they don’t want to do in order to bring out the best in them.  This is the positive side of discipleship.  The negative side is disciplining them with punishment when they need to be corrected.  Our heavenly Father does this for us (Heb. 12.5-11).  Proverbs 13:24 says, “he who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him.”  Parents are also to instruct their children in the Lord.  This means that it is primarily your responsibility to make sure that your children learn about God and His Word.  You, not the Sunday School teacher, will be held most accountable for this!  Teach your children to love Jesus and His Word.] 

·         1-4:  Again, this passage is another reason why I do not believe that Ephesians 5:21 teaches mutual submission in the sense that everyone submits to everyone else the same way.  If so, it would mean that parents need to submit to the authority of their kids, which would quickly lead to absolute chaos and the total destruction of the planet earth. 

vs. 5-9  Servants and Masters

·         5: Some people are offended by this verse because they assume it means that God approves of all forms of slavery.  Although God regulates slavery, this does not mean that He approves of it, and it certainly does not mean that He approves of it in all forms.  It is important to realize that slavery in ancient world was often much different from American slavery.  The following passage from The Reason for God by Tim Keller is very helpful: 

…Take the text “slaves obey your masters.”  The average reader today immediately and understandably thinks of the African slave trade of the eighteenth and nineteenth centuries, or of the human trafficking and sexual slavery practiced in many places today.  We then interpret the texts to teach that such slavery is permissible, even desirable.
            This is a classic case of ignoring the cultural and historical distance between us and the writer and readers of the original text.  In the first-century Roman Empire, when the New Testament was written, there was not a great difference between slaves and the average free person.  Slaves were not distinguishable from others by race, speech, or clothing.  They looked and lived like most everyone else, and were not segregated from the rest of society in any way.  From a financial standpoint, slaves made the same wages as free laborers, and therefore were not usually poor.  Also, slaves could accrue enough personal capitol to buy themselves out.  Most important of all, very few slaves were slaves for life.  Most could reasonable hope to be manumitted [set free] within ten or fifteen years, or by their late thirties at the latest.
            By contrast, New World slavery was much more systematically and homogeneously brutal.  It was “chattel” slavery, in which the slave’s whole person was the property of the master—he or she could be raped or maimed or killed at the will of the owner.  In the older bond-service or indentured servanthood, only slaves’ productivity—their time and skill—were owned by the master, and only temporarily.  African slavery, however, was race-based, and its default mode was slavery for life.  Also, the African slave trade was begun and resourced through kidnapping.  The Bible unconditionally condemns kidnapping and trafficking in slaves (1 Timothy 1:9-11; cf. Deuteronomy 24:7).  Therefore, while the early Christians did not go on a campaign to abolish first-century slavery completely, later Christians did so when faced with New World-style slavery, which could not be squared in any way with Biblical teaching.  [p. 110-111] 

·         5-8: Although we don’t have slaves today, there are many applications here that apply to any employee.  What are some of these applications?  [Follow the instructions of your boss.  Be a good worker, working just as you would if Christ Himself were your boss.  Also, don’t just work hard when the boss is watching, but work hard all the time!  By doing this you will bring honor and respect to the reputation of Christ.  All honorable work that benefits society is a form of ministry.  View it that way!  Don’t just do your work for the paycheck, do it to serve God.  There will be many times where your job or your boss drives you crazy.  If you have the perspective that you are really working for Christ, it will help a lot!  And finally, if you are not rewarded fairly on earth, remember that Christ will reward you in Heaven if you serve in a way that helps others and honors Him.] 

·         9: What instructions does God have for masters or employers?  What are the reasons for this?  [Masters are to treat their servants well.  Treat them with respect and don’t take advantage of them.  Don’t treat them harshly or cruelly.  Remember that God is the boss of us all, and we are all His servants.  God will treat the human boss and the human employee in the same way, so be good to those who you are in authority over.]

TO BE CONTINUED...